March 13, 2003~ Sophie Rose's Birthday

Tomorrow marks my daughter's 7th birthday~ the last one she will ever spend alone, without a cake and special gifts to celebrate her day!

It's been a month, plus a couple of days, since we got matched with our sweet girl and we STILL haven't received her formal referral from China~ "Lord...WHY, WHY, WHY???"

He's been teaching me patience as we gather, complete and send in our paperwork. The home study is now updated as far as possible, minus our SW last visit.

We did have a pretty big hurdle along the way that ended well today. I hesitated writing about it...

For the third time, we ALL had to have physicals. During mine, the Dr. found a bleeding cervical polyp. I was clueless, never heard of this and of course, my sinful mind went right to~ "It's cancer! We can't get Sophie! I'm going to die!"

Because China has so many new strict policies, having cancer would, in all probability, eliminate us from getting Sophie Rose~ my worst nightmare come true!!!

God in His faithfulness provided prayer warriors to stand beside me in yet another trial. He poured out His grace: Instead of just a consultation visit, my Dr. immediately removed the polyp, assured me that it looked normal, but sent it to be biopsied.

I got a call this morning that it was BENIGN!!!

We think that trials are an interruption to our normal life, but as Christians, God desires that we have a divine perspective about our circumstances! They reveal that we lack God's eternal wisdom and revelation of His identity.

Lack of God's wisdom can come in two forms~ straight up unbelief and being double minded!

As I recap my trial, I must repent for being double minded~ I wanted what I wanted ( Sophie and no cancer), not necessarily what God had for me. My instability raised questions about my sincerity of moving toward God. I lacked faith and held onto what I thought would bring hope and I wasn't willing to receive anything from the Lord. ( "Cancer certainly can't be what You desire for me NOW!!!")

As we continue to wait on her formal paperwork ( an ongoing trial), I pray that I'm quicker to remember, that as a Christian, I have so much to boast in~ my identity in the Lord Jesus. I am a forgiven sinner, a Child of God who will one day reign beside Christ in Heaven.

"Lord...Me?....Really???...How did I get here???"

In Christ is the fullness of God who met my greatest need to be reconciled to God.

Knowing God will bring joy every day for eternity!

Romans 8:32-33~He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?

Happy 7th Birthday, my sweet Sophie Girl~ Mamma's comin' soon!