Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Decisions! Decisions! Decisions!

Since May 07, China has many stipulations regarding the health of adoptive parents. No cancer, no anti-depressants, low BMI...the list goes on and on.

When we completed our dossier 3 years ago and had physicals, I stated that I had had 2 C-sections. Apparently, surgeries are notable to the CCAA so my Dr. had to write a special note reporting that C-sections don't prohibit my ability to be an adoptive parent!

In 2008, my thyroid levels were high and I began taking the lowest dosage of Levoxyl; and in 2009, I had arthroscopic surgery on my left knee.

Last night I had my physical for our last home study update. The dear nurse, Lori, asked me questions to update their records. She asked if I had seen any specialists...I deflected.

I said, "Do you have on there that I started taking Levoxyl in 2008?" She affirmed that it was listed and we went forward.

I lied.

I lied to help God out!

I was afraid that if I had both the Levoxyl and the surgery listed on the report that we couldn't get Sophie.

She left, the Dr. arrived and we chatted for another 10 minutes before the actual physical began~ "How often do you exercise? Do you drink coffee? Do you wear your seatbelt? Are you depressed?"

All the while, my heart was wildly racing and my mind was crazy with guilt!

And the Lord spoke directly to my heart~ "Shari, haven't I been faithful to you on this journey the last three years? Do you not think I'm big enough to handle this little bump in the road?"

Shame! Guilt!

"Yes! Lord! I'm so sorry! I believe, but help my unbelief! It is I who am an unfaithful lying sinner in need of a GREAT SAVIOR."

...."Aaahh....Dr.... I had arthroscopic surgery last year on my left knee."

Relief! Thankfulness! Trust!

You see, I serve a God who is bigger than Levoxyl, knee surgeries, the Chinese government, and even the international adoption process.

This morning, my reading from Psalm 36:5 soothed my soul~ "Your steadfast love, O lord, extends to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds."

Gratefully, His love and faithfulness extends to a sinner like me and a little girl waiting for her Mamma all the way in China!

2 comments:

Heather said...

Dear Sister-in-Christ, I feel so thankful that God led you in the same way He did my husband and I! All 3 of our kiddos are adopted (2 domestic, one from China). During our first homestudy (long story, but AFTER our son was in our home), a question on a form stated, "Do you any medical conditions that might shorten your lifespan." Technically, we did not. However, honestly, we did....my husband is a cancer survivor and he was "cured." Yet, we knew what we needed to do. Not only was it reported, but the SW contacted his birth mom to specifically share this (another long story). We were trusting in God, however honestly were scared. Well, our God is bigger than it all and NOTHING will get in His way! That sweet baby boy is now a teenager and my husband and I are at peace with the decision that was honest and how God wanted us to answer! You did the right thing and may God bless you and give you peace!!
In Him,
Heather

Love for Lilly Yin said...

Congratulations! Almost there!